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Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Life is always full of changes

I retired two years ago, but I've struggled to get any writing done, because I've been caring for my grandchildren. I love my grandchildren dearly, but it was frustrating not being able to get much work done, very frustrating. I always knew that they would eventually be in school, and I would have more time to write, but that wasn't enough to make me happy. Afterall, I'm getting older each year. Who knows how much time I have left? I certainly don't.

All of that has changed now. My daughter and her family moved to Georgia. And my grandson Kathan started preschool yesterday. I was so out of my element yesterday, I almost didn't know what to do. I had trouble letting go of the stress I've been under for the past two years. Believe me, if you don't know it, raising todlers is stressful, especially when you're in your early sixties. I rarely sat down for more than one or two minutes at a time without having to jump up and do something for one or all of them. My days of caring for them started early and ended late. I've listened to and watched more Sesame Street, Dorothy The Dinosaur, The Wiggles, Caillou, etc., etc., than I ever want to see again.

I was worried about Kathan going to school. I was afraid especially that he would cry when I left him, and his going to school would be stressful for me too and I'd feel guilty about it. No way. Not only did he not cry when I dropped him off at the school, he was happy and joined in with the other kids in their activities without even a look back. Last night, when I put him to bed, he said he wanted to go to school again. This morning, as I was unbuckling him from his carseat at school, he said, "Thank you for bringing me to school, grand pe." It almost brings tears to my eyes as I write this.

I'm still having trouble dealing with the freedom. I mean, I can really do things without trying to get them done in a hurry, without little kids hanging on me, without worrying that I've only got an hour to work, so I must get something done. I mean, this is unreal. I worked two solid hours on my writing yesterday, and I've worked for an hour or more this morning. It's just incredible. And I still have several hours ahead of me to do what I want. I mean, I feel like I'm free. And freedom feels good.

10 comments:

L.G.Smith said...

Yeah, it's always a little disorienting when my son heads back to school and I have the house to myself. I mean, he leaves me alone anyway, but the house gets so quiet. It's a little odd to get used to at first. Of course it only takes about an hour of adjusting before I'm off and writing. Now if I can only finish this MS before the first holiday school break. :)

And I think that's awesome what you did for your grandkids by taking care of them for those two years.

Julia Hones said...

How great that you have that special bond with your grand-kids. You must be proud of it. Enjoy your freedom now.

Clarissa Draper said...

My teenagers are getting to the point where they're almost moving out. I'm trying to deal with that emotionally but also trying to set a routine so that I can not have to have a 'stuck' moment. Changes are hard.

E.D. said...

Change is hard indeed.

It is nice that you have that special bond even though that makes the change so hard!

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Richard .. it always takes a little time to adjust doesn't it - time to think and let the ideas flow.

You've been an amazing 'grand pe' to your grandchildren .. they've been lucky to get to know you so well and will have very happy memories ..

Great that you're back writing for decent bursts ... so pleased for you - cheers Hilary

Elise Fallson said...

Stepping out of the whirlwind and adjusting to a new day can take a bit of time, but soon you'll adapt and appreciate your new schedule. I never got to know my grand-parents very well. Your grand-children are lucky to have you!

Emily R. King said...

Moms and dads aren't the only ones who struggle with the changes of children growing up. And here you are, doing it all again with your grandkids. You deserve time to write, Richard. You're a good man. Enjoy your freedom.

Tanya Reimer said...

Your post brought to life so many emotions in me. So wonderful that you get to experience that with your grandson, yet so perfect that you get a well earned moment to yourself. Enjoy both. I know you'll make the best of life.

Rachna Chhabria said...

Looks like you have a great bond with your kids. Enjoy this time with them. Richard, sixties is not that old. Have a lovely weekend.

Maria said...

You should be very proud of yourself...what a star you are.

Now is your time.